I took a while to write this. I had a successful VBAC but I needed a bit of time to try and make sence of what happened once I was given Pethadine. From first contraction to birth was over 30hrs, and although it was my first labour I feel that the last hr or 2 did not need to happen. DH said to me afterwards that he felt sorry for me the amount of Drs and so on who came in and out of the room throughout my time at the hospital - none of them really knowing how well I had been doing so far. Just giving their opinion and walking out again. At the end he said it was overwhelming the amount of people all telling and yelling conflicting instructions at me of how to breath and push, when he thought I had been doing it well by myself all along. I recieved a couple of internal stitches at the end and an awful larger than golf ball size haemarhoid. Oww. DH also said that although the Ob at the end had been very forcefull, he thinks she was aware that the time the pushing was taking, she would need to make a decision soon on whether they would intervene. The Ob praised me at the end for doing so well and arranged for me to have my hospital stay in the family birthing unit - which was where I had wanted to birth from the begining but had been declined because I was 'high risk' due to vbacing.

My first pregnancy I had an elective c.section for a transverse breech baby.
There were no complications other than the strange way my son was positioned.
I knew that next time I could easily opt for another c.section or have a vaginal birth. I didnt think too much about it before I became pregnant again, though an ectopic pregnancy in between that required surgery made me feel much less like further surgery to my abdomin.
By the time I became pregnant last year I felt fairly instinctive that I would have a vaginal birth and after acquiring my medical notes, I read that there should be no reason not to.
But then once I started seeing the Dr`s and midwives and got into the maternity system I kept hearing those words 'uterine rupture'. I perservered, I did not think or feel (though obviously there was some fear) that I would have a problem and could not see why I was a high risk pregnancy. My previous c.section was due to mis positioned baby, no other reason.
To help with the anxiety and give us support for this journey of having a vbac we hired a Doula.

I had tested positive for GBS and knew that I was expected to be in hospital from an early stage of labour, not just to monitor my vbac but also to give me at least 2 doses of antibiotics before delivery. At just under 39 weeks I went into labour. I had decided in advance that I wanted to stay home as long as possible, because I was more comfortable and secure feeling at home and because I knew the hospital if I went in earlier would potentially set me up for unnessacary monitoring and may try to push my natural flow of the labour along to their schedule. It felt natural to be at home and im pleased I made that decision. I was so fine with how my eratic contractions were that I didnt call my Doula till they were about 10 mins apart, and only asked her to come over when they were around 5. But as soon as she got here the intensity changed and I wanted to get to the hospital NoW! By the time we arrived at the hospital I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes apart.

We were taken to a room and I just felt like there was no where suitable to sit or lay...it was a nice enough room I guess, but not 'helpful' in my own needs. I began vomiting and the intensity and frequency of the contractions led me to ask for an epidural. The midwife said "no, you dont want one of those". I waited and then asked for pethadine. I think or it felt like everyone was ignoring me so i screamed a demand of it. I was told I needed to be checked for dialation first. It took ages from when i asked to when they got ready to check me and in the mean time my waters broke with a huge gush. A bunch of Drs came into the room at that time - who knows who and why? One of them checked and said i was 9cm dialated. She knew i wanted to push but said I couldnt yet. She said I could have the peth and that I would still be able to push with it, then she left.
We waited some more...I wanted to push...and then someone came in with the peth, and sadly it all went a bit slow from then. The lovely m/w who had told me earlier not to have an epi, came back in the room after the others had all left and said to go with my body and if i wanted to push then let it happen.
But by this stage I was exhausted and they had set me up with a fetal heart rate monitor - not a portable one. I was stuck on a single size hospital bed, too exhausted to move and too dopey from the peth to do much about it all.
I was trying to push but nothing was happening much. After a while an older Obstetrican came in the room. She said I needed to be given the GBS antibiotic 1st dosage (this was the only one I got given so it was considered insuffecient and baby had to be taken for blood test later on).
This Ob was ready to move things along. "PUSH"!! she kept comanding me. "Down in your bum - dont use your energy up here!" (refering to my screams and goans frm my throat).
SHe wanted to know why baby wasnt coming.
Here I was lying on my back in a position that I knew I didnt want to birth in, and a position that I knew was not helpful in getting baby to move down and one that was more likely to cause damage to my lower region.
I managed to get up and off the bed for a bit.
I felt the baby turn and move down further.
I wanted to stay off the bed, to lean against or something else that would help ease the baby out. But my legs were giving way, i just didnt have the strength and climbed back onto the bed.
She said that she wanted to insert a cathater, that it might help if some urine was blocking the way out, which apparently can sometimes happen.
I agreed, she was not the sort of woman you would argue with, and I was willing to try it if it helped get the baby out, though in the back of my head I was thinking it wasnt nessacary.
Lots more commands to push followed. I was told he was coming his head was crowned, and his heart rate was fine but I needed to really get him out. They only like to be in that part of the birth canal for so long.
Then they took further action, a midwife on each leg allowing me to have something to push against. It worked. 4hrs after we arrived at the hospital out he came into a dimmed room with his daddy there.
I`d had no idea how hard pushing would be. But I had done it, and during it all it never once occured to me that I wouldnt have him vaginally.